Sunday, November 27, 2016

Spaced out and simple minded. Why I am someone to be wary of.

Some people on occasion encounter this weird, pathetic looking old man.  He appears to be overwhelmed.  Now, when you look like you cannot handle a social situation you are in, the obvious conclusion is that you are not intelligent enough to keep out of the way of it.  Or, if it is understood you had no choice but to be there, some allowance maybe made in the mind of the person encountering you.

Generally people who encounter others who look childlike, overwhelmed and vulnerable assume they are of a lesser intelligence than themselves.  You face someone you can 'handle'.  Someone who is not a threat.  Someone child like and simple.

This is how I have often come across to people.  It is in fact, a lie.  But am I lying and deceiving others with my appearance?  Is this my responsibility?  Also, what exactly is happening in the social intercourse taking place?

Many autistic people dont have the capacity to relate the way the neurotypicals around them do.  We are a kind have universal properties, one of which is a disconnect between how we are within and how we relate externally.  This can get bigger the more stress is put upon us both in the world and as develops within ourselves.  Internal stress is not necessarily due to external stimuli.  It can be a very traumatic business being autistic and you can easily grow up so used to abuse, you miss it.  So you work within to keep it going.

I can recall many social moments when I have been patronised and humoured.  Which is a bit paradoxical if you consider I was aware it was all happening.  Oh, so why didn't I make some sort of indication to the other people involved that I knew this?  That would have been all they needed.  Unless they deliberately played on my weaknesses and wanted to rejoice in that fact by seeing that I knew there was nothing I could do about their actions?

Dark stuff, eh?

So I posted this on Facebook:

Ever had that experience where you have been humoured, patronised and treated like you were simple minded but you knew full well what was happening to you? So how could you be those things when you had awareness?
Am I right that this single experience expresses the reality of being autistic relative to neurotypicals really well? Also that you never thought anyone would state it like this for you to relate yourself to?

Within 10 minutes, three friends had reacted positively, two of which wrote that it was like explaining physics to monkeys trying to make neurotypicals understand this?

The experience of being misunderstood or even seen as something you are not is clearly universal, since at lest one response was not from an autistic person.  It happens to everyone etc.  I would say the chief reason I get upset with myself is my inability to deal with this single issue?  Its the main thing in the real world and I always saw it as 'standing up for yourself'.

Assuming of course, my perception of such situations is accurate?

Maybe the other person or group has me right?  I am vulnerable and relatively feeble minded?  So accept it.  Well, how can you when you are that simple that you think you are not.  Quite a common thing in the Polytechnic of North London I was at I can tell you.

This is the issue with existing in a society that often means you go into situations where people don't know you, don't care about you and why should they do these things anyway?  Do you know personally and in detail everyone you walk past?  See in shops and clubs?  Interact with in lifts and on trains?  Do you want to personally care about them?  Well actually many of us do want to have consideration and respect very much.  So note the paradox?  Being considerate whilst being private from others.

I think it is time for a new slide in my show?

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,